I used to blog. I used to have a completely different blog web address and I blogged there throughout parts of my 20's. For a time, I was really into it, and I had an active following and engagement, and posted frequently. I was a fashion blogger back then too, but we were on a much tighter budget then, having just graduated from school, and paying back enormous student loans. My outfits weren't very trendy, and I rarely bought anything new. I honestly just posted what I wore on the daily (often times, what I wore to church on Sunday), and talked a bit about my life. And I LOVED it! I felt like I actually had a niche, and people really enjoyed seeing an authentic wardrobe and a relatable 20-something who didn't have it all together.
As time went on, though, and social media became more and more popular (as well as influencers alike), I felt almost paralyzed to blog. How could I be good enough or what did I have to offer, now that there were influencers out there who seemed to offer everything under the sun. I thought, "they're way more beautiful than me, way more tan, have much tighter abs, and obviously all the money to buy every expensive handbag and pair of shoes they want! Plus, they're traveling to beautiful and scenic locations and every shot seems like it's in the most beautiful spot in Dubai or straight under the Eiffel Tower. What can I offer anyone, here? What am I doing?" So I didn't blog for a while. Shortly after I stopped blogging, we decided to start a family, and I had my daughter. I blogged a few times here and there, infrequently after having Lorelai, because I did still really enjoy it, but I was definitely sporadic, and I felt I really didn't have the time or energy to commit to blogging anymore, now that I had a child. Fast forward a few more years, and we had another baby, a boy this time. I now had two toddlers to care for, and vastly less time on my hands to blog. I found myself in Mom jeans and a hoodie most days, and I felt like I'd lost who I was. Being a Mother is amazingly rewarding and wonderful, but it's also exhausting and completely draining. You can lose yourself in it, especially if you're one of those people who values getting to get dolled up now and then and being dressed well. Those newborn and toddler years are not for the faint of heart. (You're basically covered in poop and spit-up and definitely not wearing your cute new suede heels! haha)
When my son was about 6 months old, and I felt like I could basically fit back into most of my clothes again, I was scrolling through instagram one night and I looked at these beautiful Fashion Blogger accounts, and I thought, "I really miss this! I want to do this again!". A few days later, I asked my husband what he thought about just going into the front yard and snapping some photos of me in a cute outfit, so I could blog again. He thought it was a great idea, and that's where this all began again. We're usually just in front of my house, or in front of my parents' house, and we don't travel to scenic spots in Dubai. I don't have the best photos in the world, and I don't edit them quite like the rest of instagram. Sometimes a blurry photo sneaks in, and sometimes, my clothes could have been ironed a little better. And that's okay with me now. What having my kids did for me was to give me a new perspective. I realized that I'm not trying to compete with the best of the best on instagram, I'm just trying to find a place to feel happy and to express my creativity in my favorite way - through fashion and the outfits I put together. I realized that if I wait for everything to be perfect, that time will never come. You just do it... use what you have and put it out there and have fun! It's hard not to feel the push of the instagram hustle, some days, but I really do try to just keep doing this for me. Because I know what it feels like to know you have to take a step back from something you love, and I really did not enjoy that. I'm here because it's honestly something I love and look forward to. I know that success may never find someone like that, and that's truly okay. All I ever wanted was to start putting outfit posts back on the internet, to feel like I was a part of something again, and I've successfully done that (and consistently) for a little over a year now. I'm proud and happy with where I am, and I know the girl I was a little over a year ago would be super excited about my blog right now! I do this for her. I do this for me.
And that's how having my kids helped me to overcome the doubts I had about myself and start blogging again. I've just been thinking about this a lot lately, and how grateful I am to be able to do this... and I wanted to share this story with you guys. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share my outfits with you guys and for this little space on the internet, where a few of you care to comment and share your experiences and thoughts with me as well. I'm so excited and happy to be here, and I'm so thankful to have you here! Thank you so so much for visiting my site and for reading, especially if you made it this far!! Have a wonderful week, you guys!
Jessica
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